LARRY
KING'S
PEOPLE
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This week on 
Larry King Live:
Monday:
Gov. Jeb Bush
Tuesday:
Erin Moran
Wednesday:
Pikachu
Thursday:
Miss Cleo
Friday:
Cooter
How come Kurt Loder is always bumming Jolly Ranchers off of me? Can't the guy pony up the bucks for some of his own?...Normally, I'm against genital piercings, but after seeing the marvelous work on Kirk Douglas' doodads, I've done a 180...If there's ever a volcano on the Virgin Islands, you gotta figure there'll be a helluva waiting list for the sacrifices...I hear that Paul Stanley is out and Larry Gatlin is in as the star-faced one in KISS...If Ben Affleck opts out of the Jack Ryan role in the next movie to be based on Tom Clancy's best sellers (Which I hear he will), my spies tell me former "One Day at a Time" munchkin Glenn Scarpelli is set to take over the role...Was there ever a more dashing Presidential son-in-law than David Eisenhower?...Those tabloid stories about my marriage to Alice Ghostley are way off. Ditto my short-lived union with Susan Powter. Those people never get it right...In his spare time, Vic Damone enjoys cow-towing to others...Do fans of Blue Oyster Cult have to be deprogrammed?...I guarantee you that Gabriel Byrne is faking that Irish accent...Those platform sneakers I see all of the club kids wearing are terrific!...Why in the hell did The Waltons yell out goodnights to each other from thir beds? I mean, the racket must have been unbearable. Instead, coudn't they have exchanged bedtime pleasantries before retiring?...Before they disappeared from the Earth, I always enjoyed a day at the unicorn races...Now that S.I. Newhouse has purchased "Spy" and "US" magazines, I hear they'll be combining them into a weekly to be called "Spus"...Rating TV's weirdest mailmen, I give it to "Cheers'" Cliff Claven over "Seinfeld's" Newman by a nose...I admire anyone who had slayed a dragon...If you cherish great music, check out the new Right Said Fred box set. Splendid!...Am I alone is thinking that all twins are the spawn of Satan? However, my late twin, Jesse Garon Zeiger, always begged to differ...Eugene Levy gets funnier every time I see him...Don't ask me why, but I get a rise out of thinking about the late Robert Preston wearing a Jessica McClintock prom gown...I've been on a daily cabbage juice enema program for three months now and have never felt better, a few heart attacks aside...My favorite bingo call continues to be "N-43"...Memo to Annie Lennox: Dominate me...The best thing about being Batman just has to be the Utility Belt...People thought he was a real hoot, but Victor Borge always bored me to tears...I was best man at Charo's nuptials with Xavier Cugat. I was, unfortunately, a no-show at her wedding to Hank Stram...I applaud PBS for bringing back the popular "Zoom" children's show but question the casting of Jethro Tull flute-hound Ian Anderson as one of the "kids"...Why isn't one of our northern border states called "New Canada"?...Maria Shriver tells me that the Kennedy Family's biggest embarassment continues to be third cousin George "Goober" Lindsey...If the guest list for your next orgy doesn't include the name Billy Mumy, you have no one to blame but yourself.