LARRY
KING'S
PEOPLE
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This week on 
Larry King Live:
Monday:
Dick Cheney
Tuesday:
Loch Ness Monster
Wednesday:
Shelley Hack
Thursday:
Woman who looks like Mike Myers
Friday:
Fleegle
Fine Sponsor:
Color me fey, but I insist on peeing sitting down, thank you...Haven't we all had enough of Thanksgiving already? I think we've expressed enough gratitude, gang...No one was ever better at coin-flipping than Corbett Monica...Lamaze classes for pets in the family way are so out, they're in...People who insist on "giving shout-outs to my homies" lose me right away...I always regretted not getting to interview the late Carl Perkins. For if I had, my first question would have been to ask if his hair was a weave...Well, I just heard that Falco is dead. Great! I'm always the last one to find out!...I hear that action-meister John Woo's next flick will be animated and feature Dumbo and Babar fighting for the title of meanest elephant on Earth. Voices will be supplied by Forrest Whittaker and Glenda Jackson...If you're ever a dinner guest at Betty White's house, be prepared to share the table with her menagerie of pooches. And, yes, that is a stuffed Allen Ludden in the corner...One of the sweetest relationships I've ever seen is the close friendship between Louis Farrakhan and Gary Mule Deer..."Dorf on Golf" is not just hilarious, but also a damn fine links primer...Former MTV VJ J.J. Jackson has just inked a deal to tackle the title role in "The Matthew McConaughey Story" for MGM/UA...What is June Lockhart's problem with Christianity?..."In Style" magazine's latest issue features a photo spread on cocktail parties in Appalachian that is superb!...When I hear that Val Kilmer just got his A.A.R.P. card, I start making sure my will is up to date...If you never tasted the tasty chicken pot pies prepared by the late Shogun thespian Toshiro Mifune, then you've not lived, my friend...My spies are telling me that Fox News Channel is axing all of its human news anchors and replacing them with claymation figurines...After much talk about their hand holding and necking in public, I can confirm that William Hurt and Peter Lupus are officially an item...If Calgon takes me away, call the police if I fail to return within 20 minutes...Am I the only one who has trouble telling Garry Shandling and Gary Sandy apart?...Mehears that Dick Martin is trying to revive "Laugh-In" with Jessica Lange partnering with him in the Dan Rowan role...What's the deal with Kylie Minogue and anvils?...Whoever invented toggle switches is a genius!...Those TV ratings at the beginning of shows are one helluva good read...Seeing the radiant Sharon Gless on Showtime's "Queer as Folk" every week is enough to turn a person straight (Unless, of course, you're a woman)...Annie Sprinkle continues to be pornographic films' classiest act...Frankie Valli is the world's foremost collector of diabetic testing kits...Eric Clapton tells me that he actually wouldn't change the world, as per his song, but rather leave things as is...My sincerest apologies to Andre Agassi, David Brenner, Rebecca DeMornay and Max Baer, Jr. for hogging the pinball machine at the Playboy mansion recently...A word to the wise: When Ed Begley, Jr. says he has to go poopie, he has to go poopie...History's greatest tragedy is that Shakepeare never lived to see the remote control...Was that really Bee Gee Maurice Gibb I spied selling "Grit" door-to-door in my neighborhood the other day?...The Smithsonian Institution's current exhibit of television memorabilia is a definite must-see. I must admit to being dismayed, though, when I noticed all of the semen stains on Alan Hale, Jr.'s "Gilligan's Island" hammock bunk...I hear that Donald Trump's next skyscraper going up in Manhattan will be constructed using only Legos...My buddy Kirk Cameron tells me that he's just inked a deal to host a new show on the Spice Channel called, "Buck Naked Blooped-ty Bloops"...Would somebody please do me a favor and check Lauren Bacall for a pulse?...Malt liquor always tastes best in a 40 ounce bottle.