LARRY
KING'S
PEOPLE
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This week on 
Larry King Live:
Monday:
Sen. Richard Gephardt
Tuesday:
Race Bannon
Wednesday:
My Paperboy
Thursday:
The flute from H.R. Pufnstuf 
Friday:
Kevin Bacon's Brother
Following a great run on HBO's "Tales from the Crypt," The Cryptkeeper tells me he's set to tour the country in "Glengarry Glen Ross" with Brent Spiner and Doug Llewelyn...Pat Robertson's new habit of hosting "The 700 Club" topless is great, but the nipple rings have to go...If nothing else, we must thank Rosanne for giving us the gift of Tom Arnold...You haven't lived until you've been on a pony ride with Miss Estelle Getty riding side-saddle...My sources in the rock world tell me that Deborah Harry is out and Phylicia Rashad is in as lead vocalist of Blondie...Did Peter Boyle ever have hair?...I hear that wacky government in Afghanistan has just banned the color orange...According to a cover story in the new "Out" magazine, England Dan & John Ford Coley are going back into the closet...Hollywood is finally getting off of its ass and making a Chia Pet movie. Eriq LaSalle and Annie Potts are inked to star. Legendary Roy Acuff tunes will be recut by Enrique Iglesias for the soundtrack...If Edward Herrmann didn't narrarate the documentary, I ain't watching...The esteemed director Mike Nichols is bugging the hell out of friends by constantly insisting that he's a little teapot...No one arranges those sticky non-slip things in bath tubs with the panache of Robert Wuhl...Will somebody please explain a common-law marriage to me?...McDonald's great new promotion is giving away figurines of Molly Hatchet members with every Happy Meal...I hear former "Dennis the Menace" scamp Jay North is kissing Hollywood goodbye to become a Detriot Pistons cheerleader...Is Ray Bolger still breathing?...Wayne Rogers aside, has there ever been a bigger waste of space than former "M*A*S*H" cast members?...Well, it's about damn time: The Sheriff "Lobo" series is finally coming to the big screen. Avery Brooks and Glenn Close will star...Whoever invented Chinese food is a genius!...If you're looking for a good investment, sink some money into one of those drug cartels and thank me later...Mehears NBC is set to premiere an hour long drama about the Justice Department probing fraud in the window blind industry that will be the next big water cooler show...My favorite laundry detergent is Gain, though I use whatever's on sale...Despite raging alcoholism, former Russian President Boris Yeltsin has wonderful breath...I hear the ghost of Edward R. Murrow is negotiating with Miramax to make a horror-mentary called "Harvest of Brains"...Many thanks to Bobby Vinton for his recent gift to me of a subscription to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine...Folks in the financial world tell me that "The Wall Street Journal" is abandoning newsprint in favor of dry erase boards...I wish the owner of the dog in my neighborhood who feeds their pooch corn will fess up and clean up the messes on my lawn...I enjoy Neosporin on crackers...Those two women in the Reynolds Aluminum Foil commercials are lesbians, if you ask me...Bonnie Franklin, Nine Inch Nails, Alan Sues and Jose Feliciano are set for kudos at the next Jackson Family Honors.