LARRY
KING'S
PEOPLE
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OPINIONLINE:
Do You think President Bush's recent visit abroad will improve our foreign relations?
Larry King
Talk Show Host,
Beverly Hills, CA
Would someone please give Dionne Warwick directions to San Jose already?!?!
Larry King
Retired Radio Host,
Crystal City, VA
I don't know what "a tempest in a teapot" is, but I love it!
Larry King
Agnostic Mormon,
Salt Lake City, UT
Has Joel Seigel ever seen a movie he didn't like?
Larry King
Author,
New York, NY
My wife's cat publishes a newsletter called "The Scratchin' Post" that's a helluva good read.
Larry Zeiger
Kid on the corner,
Brooklyn, NY
Do these suspenders make my ass look fat?
Billy Dee Williams' paintings are lovely but seriously overpriced. Despite this, I recently purchased a work of his entitled, "Whore on Canvas" that proudly hangs in my laundry room...Decorating experts rarely come any scarier than Home & Garden Television's skunk-haired sensation, Kitty Bartholomew...Harvey Fierstein has just signed on to host a talk show on the Bravo cable channel called, "Inside the Actor's Asshole"...Bummer Dept.: I hear that "The Girl from U.N.C.L.E." has just been outed as a double agent for T.H.R.U.S.H....Can we get a new game for my Gameboy?...Corporate America's greatest achievement continues to be Clorox...How come those singers that would like to buy the world a Coke are never around when I want to whet my whistle?...Don't ask me why I douche, I just do...Thanks to Halcion prescribed to him by Kim Fields, Eddie Albert is no longer a threat to others, merely himself...Mary Kay Cosmetics' newest rewardee of a pink Cadillac is "Salesperson of the Quarter" Richard Dreyfuss...Whoever invented cannisters is a genuis!...I love watching those strongman competitions on TV, especially when Rene Auberjonois is one of the combatants...The June Taylor Dancers: I had 'em all...From beyond the grave, Leonard Bernstein tells me he was heavily influenced by Kraftwerk...Swamis don't come any nicer than Emma Samms...You haven't lived until you've crashed a family reunion picnic in Kansas...The tastiest fast food is always found at your neighborhood Hardee's...The raised lettering on a wint-o-green LifeSaver is one helluva good read...In a move I saw coming a mile away, the Philadelphia Flyers have signed Jason Vorhees as a backup goalie...Why are the ice cube trays in Lara Flynn Boyle's freezer full of frozen urine?...Don't empty margarine tubs make dandy cereal bowls?...Had he not been bludgeoned to death in an Arizona hotel room years ago, I can assure you Bob Crane would have been an Oscar contender nearly every year...I hear Robert Foxworth has just been signed to endorse a new toothpaste called Tartar Control Falcon Crest...Memo to Vaclav Havel: Say what you said about me to my face...Ventriloquist dummies that come to life and kill their masters scare the hell out of me...You got a fleck of something on your cheek. No, no, there you got it!...Memo to Lucie Arnaz: You sunk my Battleship!...The steaks at the recent PETA benefit I emceed were top notch!...The hot new amusement park thrill ride this summer is Disney World's "The Tracheotomy"...No one performs a better M.R.I. than Adam Sandler...Who's this Selena singer everyone's talking about? She's marvelous!...I'd like to spring Elke Sommer from whatever nursing home she's rotting away in and give her a slab of Larry-love...My favorite descriptive term of all-time is "on-all-fours"...I'll be calling the bingo game down at the Eagles club this Saturday, if y'all want to come out...No one ever hijacked a moving van with as much class as Fess Parker...Why does Walter Cronkite have "evil" tattooed across his right knuckles? Just asking, gang...While the medical community crows about the recent cure for death they say they've come upon, I think the real credit lies with the marvelous benefits of Kwai Garlic Tablets...Did I just hear that Black Oak Arkansas is reforming for a tour? Yippee!...I miss seeing Lisa Bonet on my TV every Thursday night...I don't know what I enjoy more: Eating a good meal or passing it through my colon while reading "USA Today" atop the porcelain throne.