LARRY
KING'S
PEOPLE
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This week on 
Larry King Live:
Monday:
Rep. Bob Barr
Tuesday:
Dr. Zaius
Wednesday:
Lancelot Link
Thursday:
The Barefoot Executive
Friday:
Helena Bonham Carter
Link:
Via telepathy, Steadman Graham tells me that Mary Matalin is out and Shoshanna Lonstein is in in James Carville's bed...Grandpa Jones' enduring legacy is the wonderful score he composed for the film, "Caligula"...If one were to witness the leisure-time antics of Norman Lear, it would appear that the Dungeons & Dragons craze never went away...Memo to Erwin Rommel: You magnificent bastard! I read your book! And it's one hell of a page-turner; impossible to put down...The only kind of audible farts that make me laugh are squibbles...Those A-Z bookends are so out, they're in...That nasty West Nile Virus will soon be a thing of the past, thanks to Garlique tablets...No one ever took a better mugshot then Robert Mitchum...I love those snazzy cowboy shirts Garth Brooks is always sporting...People whose first names end in "i" lose me immediately...Cartoonist Scott Adams tells me that Berry Gordy has joined the cast of his "Dilbert" comic strip...Whoever the Madison Avenue exec was who came up with the idea of Claude Akins endorsing Poli-Grip was a friggin' genius!...It's a little known, but true fact that a loud speaker installed in Sinead O' Connor's house features the voice of Johnny Olson screaming "Kitty Carlisle!!!" every ten minutes...After much campaigning for the designation, Clarence Williams III has been named an honorary Gatlin Brother...This country started going downhill the day legislators stopped wearing powdered wigs...Getting slimed has got to be the best part of being a Ghostbuster...Yes, that is corporate-spokesperson-turned-plus-size-model Dinty Moore wearing a revealing sundress on the cover of the latest issue of Mode magazine...Besides being a great kisser, Mexican President Vicente Fox is no slouch when it comes to hugs, either...My thanks to Mrs. Gerry Spence for the dandy pair of leather chaps she made for me. They fit to a "T"!...I have yet to meet a person from Australia who didn't believe in elves...Rich Hall is suing Phil Collins, claiming that "Sussudio" is a Sniglet he came up with meaning something or the other...I hear that Elton John is out and John Entwhistle is in as Dionne & Friends continues to shuffle its lineup...If Teri Garr's giving out hand jobs, I'm first in line...My fondest memory continues to be the time Ginger Rogers and I travelled the rails of America and lived as hobos...Those stubborn Tareyton smokers who'd rather fight than switch never met Mr. Gerry Cooney...Would someone please tell Alan Arkin to stop smelling his fingers all the time?...In a worldwide exclusive, Pravda is reporting that Gilbert O' Sullivan is set to take over lead vocals on the next Lynyrd Skynyrd reunion tour...You can keep Michael Jordan, give me Yinka Dare anyday...When you make up your list of my ex-wives, don't forget Agnes Moorehead, Seka and Darla from the "Li'l Rascals"...I get horny just thinking about Leonard Maltin's beard...Chico, don't be discouraged. The man, he ain't so hard to understand...Joe Paterno's Penn State football squad is as good as #1 now that Toni Tenille's been installed as defensive coordinator...Whenever I had the pleasure to send a few private moments with the esteemed ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy, he always confided in me that he was suffering from a serious case of "the munchies"...I hear Puff Daddy's producing the next Three Tenors album; Should be a smash!...If the baked beans are Van de Camp's, I'll have an extra helping, please...Hang on, Sloopy; Friday's coming.