LARRY
KING'S
PEOPLE
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This week on 
Larry King Live:
Monday:
British PM Tony Blair
Tuesday:
Zippy the Pinhead
Wednesday:
Adrian Zmed
Thursday:
Arnold Ziffel's grand-nephew Jay Ziffel
Friday:
Ozzie Canseco
Link:
In addition to having a T-ball field constructed on the White House premises, I hear the Bush Administration nows refers to the Lincoln Bedroom as "foosball central". The original plan was to market out the room for overnight visits ala the Clinton Administration. But a biological stain problem led to the kiboshing of the plan. P.S. DNA testing revealed that the stains belonged to none other than Richard Dreyfus...My wife Shawn and I were recent weekend guests at Superman's Fortress of Solitude. While the place was a tad cold, Super has a guy on staff named Murray who gives one helluva neck massage...Now it can be told: Former Clinton Press Secretary Dee Dee Myers was recently arrested, very drunk and very naked, in Milwaukee. When officers asked her what she was doing, she told them she was trying to find Potzie...Whenever my CNN "Larry King Live" show tapes in New York, Bebe Neuwirth is always waiting for me outside of the studio and chases me, screaming, "I bet somebody's ticklish!"...For some reason, whenever she's a guest at my house, Nastassja Kinski calls my wife "Memaw" and refers to me as "Pepaw"...Were I ever to interview Chuck Whoolery, question number one is, "What's JoAnn Pflugg like in bed?". Question number two: "What's with that 'back in two and two' crap?"...I love dunking booths...You haven't lived until you've composed on a clavinova...I like noodles...Who someone please explain to me why the minister at my wife's Mormon church in Utah is constantly quoting scripture from the Talmud?...Whenever I'm thinking TV sitcom excellence, I'm thinking "Small Wonder"...Say what you will about corporate synergy in the AOL/Time Warner family; Sometimes, it's a good thing. Case in point: When Rosie O' Donnell's (Warner Bros.-produced) talk show ends its run next year, John McDee and the McDLT's will join my CNN "Larry King Live" show as the house band. Al Jarreau will set in with the band on Thursdays...The Davenport, Iowa chapter of my Larry King Cardiac Foundation recently hosted a salute to its "Man of the Year": Subway pitchman Jared Fogle. And would you believe that that former fatty didn't show up? That didn't daze a great panel of speakers, including Jay Mohr, Vanessa Redgrave and Ol' Dirty Bastard...Am I alone in thinking that "Baywatch's" secret weapon was Mr. David Charvet?...For some reason, whenever we are in the same company, Nicholas Cage mocks applauds me and says, "So the worm turns, Mr. King"...Has Aidan Quinn ever made a movie that doesn't take place in Ireland?...I'd kill for a matzo ball pot pie right now...My spies in the Interior Department tell me that as a way of "sprucing things up," a couple of the Presidents on Mount Rushmore will be getting goatees soon...I don't know why I love the term "skeletal remains," but I do...Were she not dead, I would make love to Vivian Vance this very minute...While normally a courteous neighbor, Dennis Farina is very lax when it comes to returning lawn tools...Right now California is suffering from an energy crisis and that flake, Ed Begley, Jr., has an electric car; You can insert your own joke here.